Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
