Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
