i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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