You smell like stripper and shame
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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