I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
