Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
