great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Randomize
