hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
