turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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