I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
