now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
