so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
