Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Randomize
