You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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