"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
