i think i have herpe
just one?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Randomize
