He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
