He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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