also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize