doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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