i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
