eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
