it hurts more in the daytime
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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