that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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