so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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