Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
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