Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
