ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
