Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
