There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I just found a bag of teeth...
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
