Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
