Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
