at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
