I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
You may now shotgun with the bride
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
