I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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