I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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