Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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