So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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