i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I just had sex on a roof
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
