You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
