Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I just blew my weed a kiss
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
