When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Be still, my beating vagina.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
