I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
