Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
