Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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