I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize