He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize