I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
She even gives head with a lisp.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize