I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
