Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i dont even know how to be here
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
