Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize