Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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