dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
