Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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