Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
