is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
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