i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
