Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
